DAY TWENTY TWO
An excerpt from my latest pulp novel “The Devils Redheaded Bottom Bitch” It’s a working title.
She was intense, earthy and her hair could light up a neon sign. Her piercing green eyes never left Det. Martinez and he had no reason to complain. From her amazing stems to her red hair that stabbed at sex, she was sight that would literally pain you, if you looked away.
“I’m a small waist, but a tall glass.” She said.
“How long have you been in the business?”
“That’s non of yours.”
“I’d like it to be; beautiful women are a hobby with me.”
“Hobbies don’t interest me.”
“You could be a career.”
Her full lips parted and her breath quickened. “Now that,” she said with a smoky tone, “interests me more…”
I had the most nonsensical dream last night. I was fighting zombies, killing quite a few actually, and I became so overwhelmed I took it to the heel and toe. As I was being chased I pulled a shotgun out my pocket, for some reason it had a sniper scope on it, and I began shooting my way through the living dead. At one point I turned back and saw a foxy redheaded zombie chasing me and there was no mistaking that red lipstick she had on, I’d seen pounds of it before, but I kept hoofing it. When I rounded a corner I came toe to toe with a large beast of the undead. So I did the only thing I cold do, I jumped in slow motion and kicked him right in the face. But as it turns out, this is very difficult to do while laying down, apparently my body doesn’t know how to sleep-roundhouse yet, so the action woke me up as I kicked the wall. Out of all the ridiculousness that was my dream, there was one thing I couldn’t fathom after waking up; Why didn’t I let that redheaded, soulless corpse catch me?
Of course for day twenty two I would have to write a fucking novel when it comes to Samantha. But let’s get the fact that she is bloody gorgeous out of the way. Fact being indisputable by the way. Her amazing eyes capture your attention like a stoner staring at a lava lamp and her figure is flawless thanks to that great bum and her tiny waist. But forget all that for right now. What I absolutely love about her is her girlish innocence. She doesn’t let things affect her when she’s just hanging about. We can kick random UPS packages, we can ride quarter kiddy rides, we can play the mat swapping game and so many other foolish things without feeling judged by each other. That’s rare. I normally can feel the scrutiny of other people while doing almost any act I become engaged in. But not with Moon Head. She’s the epitome of fun. Merrymaking could be a good word to describe her. Moreover, whether it’s shooting some spectacular images or drinking a few lagers talking about how slutty St. Pauli Girl is while listening to “Looking for Love” on the Lovage playlist, it’s a bond that I don’t mind making a career out of. Day twenty two of “30 days of awesomeness,” and I present to you Samantha. You’re fucking welcome.