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Last Night

As jokes go it’s probably not the most amusing. But it’s the retelling of this joke that makes it riotous.

Pete is a solid Tom Cruise height Englishman with a fuzz on his dome and character on his face, and although he’s been in this country for close to half his life, which he’s come to realize, after serious introspection, means “fuck all”, he’s still the owner of a cockney accent. “So there’s this small geezer,” He side-eyes Andy, a tall bloke who has had a long day of “puff”, who cuts into his story. “He wasn’t small when I told the joke. He likes to take his own liberties Vinnie.” Pete laughs with a tiny gruff in his voice and continues. “So there’s this small geezer,” he reiterates, “and he’s new to prison and likes to keep to himself.” Andy laughs in a razzing way that only a childhood friend could, “He likes to keep to himself now, does he?” Pete chuckles through the comment, knowing that he’s magnifying the anecdote through his own imagination. “So one day he’s sitting in his cell and the guard yells in ‘Johnny we gots you a new celly’” What the fuck is a “celly”?” Andy interjects. Pete and I answer in debauched unison. “It’s like a cell mate.” “Anyway, this large massive guy comes into the cell and with 3 dice in his hand” Andy near a gut bust leans into me, “He only had one in my story.” Laughing as a form of struggle Pete carries on, “The big guy comes up to the little geezer and looks him square in the eye. ‘If you roll a six, I’m gonna fuck you in the ass. NOW ROLL.’” Pete gives a “we’re almost there” kind of laugh and grin. Andy strikes out of turn laughter in his heart “I never said anything about ass fucking.” “So the little geezer, says” Pete adds the finishing touches, “What happens if I don’t roll a six? The big guys says” and Pete is now looking me square in the eyes and with malice in his tone for effect, “You roll again.” And that’s when the puff, beers and joviality of our state causes us to lose our shit. We’re all doubled over and once we’re close back to composure, Andy leans to me and says about his friend of 50ish years, “What a cunt.”

-Vincent Martinez
Newport Beach

TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2011

  1. ACTION BRONSON - DR. LECTER
  2. THE BLACK KEYS - EL CAMINO
  3. WILLIAM ELLIOT WHITMORE - FIELD SONGS
  4. LOUIS CK - HILARIOUS & LIVE AT THE BEACON THEATER 
  5. MAYER HAWTHORNE - HOW DO YOU DO
  6. ADELE - 21
  7. J-ROCC - SOME COLD ROCK STUFF
  8. DRIVE MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK
  9. NORM MACDONALD - ME DOING STAND UP
  10. METRONOMY - THE ENGLISH RIVIERA


Brill - Artist Interview  (trailer)

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Artist: Otis Redding
Caption:

Mmmmm, I want me somebody to hold my hand
Somebody to love me and understand
I want me a woman, I want a lover, I want a friend, ouh

I want me somebody to share my love
Lovin’ is something I gotta have
I want me a woman, I want a lover, I want a friend

I-I-I-I don’t want a fancy gal, powder and paint
And I don’t want me a woman who thinks she’s a saint
I’m lookin’ for someone who’s not make believe
And doesn’t mind giving so that she may receive

I want me somebody somewhere around
That’s looking for someone
TEE pound for pound

Oooh, I want me a woman, I want a lover, I want a friend
Yeah
I want this little girl right now
I Want to run away now
Want her really how now
Aahh, baby
Come on baby
Need you right here by my side now
I need you to protect me
I need you to stand right by me
And I want you
And I want you to just
Come on baby
And I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you

LAUREN ASHLEY: Untouched vol. 4
Black and white shot in camera and images untouched by photoshop.
http://brill.tumblr.com/

LAUREN ASHLEY: Untouched vol. 4

Black and white shot in camera and images untouched by photoshop.

http://brill.tumblr.com/


When these videos were released I was losing my fucking mind. One video a week to countdown to the album release on Black Friday… genius. Pure fucking genius. This is arguably my favorite episode. -V

*a bowl of gold.

http://brill.tumblr.com/

*a bowl of gold.

http://brill.tumblr.com/